


to know the burn of shame

by TheWeepingMonk



Category: I Medici | Medici: Masters of Florence (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Dildos, F/M, Humiliation, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Making Up, One Shot, Orgasm Delay/Denial, POV Alternating, Set After Lorenzo Returns From Naples, Sex Toys, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:55:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23355817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWeepingMonk/pseuds/TheWeepingMonk
Summary: "In your heart, do you wish it had?" Clarice had asked, and Lorenzo's resulting silence had spoken volumes
Relationships: Lorenzo "Il Magnifico" de' Medici/Clarice Orsini
Comments: 10
Kudos: 41





	to know the burn of shame

**Author's Note:**

> Idk where this idea came from but here we are lmao
> 
> I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes I missed in editing!

"In your heart, do you wish it had?" Clarice had asked, and Lorenzo's resulting silence had spoken volumes. She had been so hurt and angry that even after all this time together her husband would still wish to know the touch of another, that she had avoided him since the day he returned from Naples. 

It wasn't too hard. She was married to the Prince of Florence, _il magnicfico_ himself, Lorenzo de Medici, the busiest man in all of Italy. When he _was_ around she wouldn't look at him so he didn't feel inclined to speak to her, kept her words clipped, or scarily polite if he wasn't alone, shut down his affections, and was early to rise and early to bed. 

The children didn't seem to notice a difference, but she knew Lorenzo had by the way his eyes lingered on her from across the room, or from the way he would pause every night before getting into their bed, presumably to gauge whether she was really asleep or not. She hardly ever was. 

Lorenzo allowed weeks to pass like before he cornered her, waiting until after she'd laid Maddalena down for her nap to swoop in and leave her trapped between him and their bedroom door. 

"We need to talk."

Clarice cast her eyes down. "I don't wish to speak to you." 

"And _that_ is the problem," He said. "I have given you your space, and respected that you weren't ready to talk, but no more."

A defiant rage flared up inside of her, her eyes snapping up to his. She crowded into his space. She wanted to yell and scream and make a scene and it was only for her daughter's sake that she did not. "What is it you expect me to say, Lorenzo? That I _forgive you_ for wanting to sleep with another woman?" She hissed.

Lorenzo flinched at the quiet anger in her voice, reaching for her face, but she rebuffed it and his hand fell to his side. "I want you to tell me how to fix this because we cannot go on like this, Clarice."

Clarice scoffed. "And why must _I_ be the one to offer a solution? _You_ are the one who broke things."

"And how am I expected to fix them when you shut me out at every turn?" He countered. 

"I'm sure _il magnifico_ can figure it out." Clarice pushed him away, and started off down the hall, but he caught up to her quickly, grabbing her arm. She tried to break free, but Lorenzo held firm. 

"Tell me what you want me to do. I'll do anything, just _please_ don't shut me out anymore – my heart can't take it." His face is a mask of pain and desperation, and she felt herself starting to soften.

But she did not show it. She needed him to understand how raw she felt from this reopened wound, how unforgiving she could be. 

"Do you know how _humiliating_ it is to have all of Florence whisper about you? About your husband sleeping with someone else? To know a rumor isn't true, but everyone believes it so? _You're_ the one who dangles on the hook, yet the teeth sink into _me._ "

His grip on her arm loosened, but she didn't make to flee. "Do you wish to punish me?" Lorenzo asked. "Humiliate me as I have you?" 

She did. She wanted him to feel the shame and embarrassment that burned her cheeks, the way she choked on the pain of hearing theories of what he had done in Naples.

"Yes." Quiet, but firm. 

Lorenzo nodded, apprehension in his eyes. "Is...is there someone you desire? I can send – " 

"That's not what I want." She cut in quickly. She didn't want anyone else, but it also wasn't that simple. Women couldn't do the same as men without damaging their reputation, or risking their lives.

Someone else was not the answer. 

She saw the relief in his eyes. "Then what?"

She had an idea – a distant fantasy she'd been replaying in her head. She took his hands and lead him back down the hall to their room. 

"Clarice, what...?" He questioned as she shut the door to their room behind him.

Clarice pressed a finger to his lips, and gestured to Maddalena. He nodded, a curious glint in his eyes. She captured his lips with her own, undoing his breeches and slipping her hand inside to wrap firmly around him. He let out a soft exhale against her lips, pressing into her touch desperately.

She clumsily led him to the bed, their lips locked in an unending kiss, stroking him faster than before. She tingled, arousal building, warming her body as she felt him stiffen in her hand. 

Clarice pulled away from the kiss, allowing Lorenzo to steal a few more before putting her hand firmly on his chest. He looked at her with a mix of curiosity and desire. “Undress and sit against the headboard,” She ordered quietly. 

Lorenzo nodded and started undressing while she went to grab some things from her drawers. She hid them behind her back and crawled onto the bed where Lorenzo quickly joined her. She kept two of the items behind her, but pulled out the silk ribbons she'd kept from childhood. 

“What are those?” Lorenzo questioned.

“A gift left to me from my mother.” Clarice grabbed his right hand, and slid the thick ribbon around his wrist, tying it at one end. 

“I didn’t think restraints were something you would enjoy.” He commented as she tied the other end of the ribbon to the bedpost, forcing him to shift closer to the center of the bed. 

“They’re not, but I need them in order to punish you.” She straddled his thighs and he offered his free hand easily. It wasn’t until after she'd bound him completely and was inspecting the ribbons that he noticed the items she'd kept hidden. 

“Is that one of your toys?” 

Clarice grabbed his face in between both of her hands. “Yes...and I intend to use it on you.”

Uncertainty lit his eyes and she stroked his face gently. 

“I will ask this of you only once, Lorenzo, and if it proves to be too much I will stop. Just today, then never again, all right?”

“All right,” He agreed shakily.

Clarice rewarded him with a kiss and few firm strokes of his full cock between them. She pulled away and slid off his lap, staring at him a moment and appreciating how gorgeous he looked like this. Lips kiss swollen, cheeks flush with arousal, his perfect tan body on display. 

Lorenzo tested his restraints, proving them to be sturdy but not so tight that they cut off his circulation. He nodded at Clarice.

Clarice grabbed the oil, warming it with her hands before pressing one finger against Lorenzo. “Just this once,” she reminded gently. 

“Just this once,” He repeated. 

She pushed her finger in slowly until it was buried in the heat of him. It felt different than when she fingered herself, and she couldn't help but move around experimentally, feeling around his inner walls until he gasped suddenly. She stilled. “What?”

Lorenzo looked almost embarrassed as he said, “Do that again.”

Clarice did, and he bit his lip. She massaged at the same spot briefly, then poured more oil onto her hand before adding a second finger. 

Lorenzo's eyes fluttered closed as she found that spot inside him again. She teased it intermittently as she stretched him open, and after a while he started to push down on her fingers, soft moans spilling from his lips. She couldn’t help the small smile the sounds drew, a part of her smug about being the only woman to do this to him – to know him this intimately. 

It burned off some of her anger, but not enough to quell the urge to punish him. 

She slipped her fingers out of him, earning a soft whimper from Lorenzo who flushed harder when he realized the sound had come from _him_. She kissed his warm face to silently assure him that she wasn’t going to judge him for enjoying it, then grabbed her favorite toy – a thick dildo made of leather that was only a few inches short of Lorenzo himself. 

Clarice slicked it thoroughly, wanting to make this part as easy as she could for her husband. Toys were on a whole other playing field than her fingers and it could prove to be too much for him. 

Lorenzo shifted nervously as she pressed the tip against him so she kissed him to put him at ease, her free hand wrapping around his cock to stroke him lazily. He twitched in her hand, coaxing her mouth open to tease her with his tongue, and making her wet as she thought of a better place for it. 

He pulled away after a few minutes. “Do it,” He urged quietly before reclaiming her mouth with his own. 

Clarice pushed the dildo in slowly, feeling Lorenzo shift under her as he took it in inch by inch until it filled him entirely. She allowed him to adjust to it, kissing away from his mouth down to his jaw, then his chest, then his stomach where she hovered. Despite any discomfort caused by the toy, she saw his cock twitch in anticipation at her new position. 

A soft kiss placed at the tip, a flick of her tongue against the slit, and then she took him in her mouth. She sucked gently as she started to sink down, then harder when she had all she could take, feeling him squirm at the sensation 

He moaned softly, pulling on his restraints as he tried to reach for her – to bury his hand in her hair as he was prone to do. She felt almost smug that he couldn't, at the frustrated look on his face as she continued to pleasure him with her mouth knowing he couldn't do as he wanted. 

"I ache to touch you," Lorenzo told her, voice low. 

Clarice pulled off of him. "And you'll get to when I say."

Desire flashed bright in his eyes. "I like this side of you, Clarice."

She pressed her finger to his lips, and he nodded in understanding. 

Clarice reached for the toy, pulling it almost all of the way out, then pushing it back in roughly, repeating the action over and over until she had a steady rhythm. Her eyes focused on Lorenzo's face, noting every expression that flited across his face, arousal a simmering heat under her skin, a throbbing between her legs calling for her own pleasure.

“ _Clarice_ ,” he moaned, as if it was his last breath and she knew she'd found that spot again. 

She was merciless after that, fucking him hard and deep with the toy. Satisfaction flowed through her as Lorenzo met her thrusts, and he bit his bottom lip to hold back the noises that threatened to escape him. She hadn’t thought she would enjoy taking her husband like this, but there was a power in it she found quite heady. 

Not only was he bound, and entirely at Clarice's mercy, but he was forced to remain quiet lest he wake his daughter and have her deny him the pleasure he ached for. 

She wrapped her free hand firmly around his cock, pulling him in long strokes, and smearing precum against the head with her thumb as it rubbed against his slit. 

“Kiss me,” Lorenzo begged, blue eyes pleading, _“please.”_

Clarice kissed the edge of his mouth, pulling away when Lorenzo tried to steal a proper kiss. “I want to hear you,” She explained simply. 

Lorenzo groaned, louder than before but not enough to disturb Maddalena. He shut his eyes and pushed down on the toy harder, and she started adjusting the angle of it, figuring how he best liked taking it. 

Eventually Lorenzo let out a soft, “Clarice.” He didn’t have to say anything else for her to know he was on the edge. 

"Tell me," She said, letting go of him abruptly, "What is it you wanted to do with her? 

Lorenzo groaned, body jerking at the loss of her touch, desperate to find it again. He opened his eyes slowly, awareness slowly creeping into them as he met her gaze head on. "You don't want to know," He said tightly. 

" _Tell me_ ," She demanded. 

Lorenzo still hesitated, but after a moment he lifted his head and nodded slowly. He kept his voice steady as he spoke. "I...I wanted her touch me, to take me in her mouth until I spilled between her lips, and then I wanted to pleasure her with my tongue until she begged me to fill her."

The words twisted into her like a knife. She hadn't so much as _thought_ of another man since the night they met and yet here he was telling her his fantasies of another woman years later. She deftly wiped at the tears that sprung to her eyes, looking anywhere but at him. 

"Clarice."

She met his gaze once more. 

"It was a fleeting thought for an old flame, nothing more, nothing less, but I _am_ sorry for it, and I am sorry that I hurt you."

Clarice nodded slowly, finding her resolve to go through with his punishment, the last of her doubts melting away. "Thank you for your honesty."

Lorenzo licked his lips as she took his cock in her hand once more, and the dildo in the other. She leaned forward – mere inches from his face. "You should know that I thought of you in Naples every night. How you would enjoy the sea, and the salty air. How you might've enjoyed the beauty of the gardens and how you might've let me take you on the balcony overlooking them or let me spread you on the desk in my cell and lick up every drop of you," he told her. 

Clarice kissed him to shut him up, not wanting her desire to get the best of her, and he hummed. Kissing had always been Lorenzo's favorite thing, and he was as magnificent at it as he was everything else. But she pulled away quickly, deciding to deny this too until he earned her forgiveness. 

Clarice stroked him fast and firm, and adjusted the angle of the dildo to tease that sensitive spot inside him. Lorenzo shuddered and groaned, trying to chase after her lips and failing to catch them. It didn't take long to bring him back to the edge, and the moment his mouth went slack she squeezed the base of cock hard, before letting go of him entirely. 

A choked sob left her husband as he was denied his orgasm yet again. His hips jerked, and he pulled against his restraints just a bit too hard and the resulting thud of the headboard stirred Maddalena – a soft little coo coming from her crib a moment later. It wasn’t quite how Clarice had planned to wake her, but it would have to do.

She made sure the toy was buried inside Lorenzo, then she quickly got to her feet, wiping her hands on her dress. 

“Clarice?” Lorenzo questioned breathlessly, eyes full of desire, desperation, and confusion. 

“You will know the burn of shame,” She told him before going to rouse Maddalena a little more – just enough to get her to open her eyes. She kissed her daughter then slipped out of the room, hearing Magdalena start to fuss at not being picked up.

She didn’t leave the hall until her daughter's wailing echoed throughout the house.

* * *

  
  
Lorenzo struggled against his restraints, knowing someone would come to check on Maddalena any second now, but he could not break free. His face started to burn as he heard footsteps approaching. He had no choice but to been seen like this. 

He had gotten so swept up in his own pleasure that he had forgotten that this was meant to be some sort of punishment. And now he thought he understood what it would be. 

A servant walked in a moment later. She didn't notice him at first, focused on getting to Maddalena, but once she held the fussing baby in her arms she turned and noticed him. She froze in place, eyes wide, and mouth hanging open as if she could not fathom what she was seeing. 

Lorenzo wished the earth would split open and swallow him whole. 

After a moment she turned quickly, apologizing profusely before scurrying away with his daughter. 

"Clarice!" He called, but she did not come. Though Tommaso did only a few minutes later, his face turning red before he stuttered out an apology and fled. 

Half an hour passed, and Lorenzo again faced the shame of being seen like this – this time by Bernardi. 

Bernardi flushed pink and averted his eyes. "My apologies, Messer. I will come back later."

"Wait!" Lorenzo called before he left. 

Bernardi paused in his exit, but did not look at him. 

"Find Clarice and ask her to come back."

Bernardi dared to look at him then, keeping his eyes level with Lorenzo's. " _I_ could untie you if that's what you want."

"No, it has to be her." Lorenzo told him. This was his punishment and he would bear it until Clarice was satisfied even if he hated every second of it. 

Bernardi nodded and left the room. 

A different servant came with Maddalena a while later to put her back in her crib.

This servant studiously kept her eyes off him and though it made his face burn with shame he said, "Look at me."

She turned slowly, hesitating as moment before she finally lifted her gaze to look at him. Her eyes raked over him, taking in every single detail and he hated this feeling – the humiliation of being exposed, of being presented to any passer-by. Her gaze lingered where the toy penetrated him and his face burned hotter, knowing rumors would spread that he liked to have his ass played with it. Even if they didn't spread beyond the house, he wasn't sure he could ever look any of the servants in the eye again. 

"Leave me." He said when he could no longer bear the humiliation, barely resisting the urge to close his legs. 

She left, but more servants came by. One to drop off clean clothes, one to feed Maddalena, one to feed _him_ per Clarice's request, one to check his restraints, and then one more to take his daughter as Clarice finally reappeared. 

* * *

  
Lorenzo didn't speak as she started to undress, just watched and waited patiently. His face was red, his eyes watering. 

She crawled onto the bed once she was stark naked, and hovered at his side. She cupped his face, thumbs gently stroking his cheekbones. "Do you understand how I've felt now?"

"Humiliated." He whispered. "Utterly."

Clarice nodded, tears starting to well in her eyes as all of her ugly feelings built up, needing to spill out. 

Lorenzo pressed his forehead into hers, eyes prickling with tears too. "I'm sorry, Clarice. I'm so sorry." His voice cracked. 

She nuzzled into his forehead, hands sliding up to stroke his hair. She believed him more this time than any other and _finally_ , she felt forgiveness in her heart. She scratched lightly at his scalp a moment, letting him wallow in his misery just a little longer before she said, “I forgive you, Lorenzo."

She felt him sag in relief, his forehead slipping down to her shoulder. She stroked the back of his neck a couple of times, then slid her hand down his chest, across his belly, and down to his withered arousal. He gasped softly, and lifted his head – a question in his eyes.

“Sit up straight,” She ordered.

He did. 

Clarice stroked him until he was hard and leaking, then straddled his thighs, rubbing herself against him teasingly. Lorenzo tried to touch her, his hands jerking back into place against the headboard, and he let out a soft whine as she continued to taunt him with just how wet she grew from it. 

She kissed him, his tongue slipping into her mouth – making her slick with desire with the way he teased her. Lorenzo had always been good with his tongue in every way imaginable, and she decided to indulge in her desire from earlier. She pulled away him slowly, amused by his soft curses, and the way he chased her lips. 

She stood above him, holding onto his shoulders for support, then slid one hand up his neck and into his hair, pulling his face to where she wanted it. 

Lorenzo kissed at her thighs, warm breath making her skin tingle. His eyes flicked up to meet hers a second before he licked at the folds of her, flicking his tongue in shallowly at first, then deeper and deeper until he was buried inside her.

Clarice moaned, fingers curling harshly in his hair, rocking into his face. He sucked at her clit gently, tonguing at it briefly before sucking harder, stealing all the air from her lungs. He made it clear he wasn't in the mood for teasing anymore, alternating between sucking her clit and licking her cunt with short, deep strokes until she quivered and came on his face – a loud cry escaping her. 

He licked at the edges of her as she rode the wave of her pleasure, and she pushed him away after a moment so she could straddle him once more. She allowed herself a moment to breathe, and her senses to settle. Lorenzo kissed at her cheek sweetly, bringing a smile to her face. She kissed him, one hand reaching for him and lining him up with her soaked cunt, rubbing against him obscenely, feeling his wetness mix with her own. 

Lorenzo groaned. “ _Please_ , Clarice.”

Clarice took him in one fluid movement, breath hitching while Lorenzo squirmed underneath her, overwhelmed. She moved slowly, swirling her hips against his, then faster, harder until her thighs shook with the effort and the bed creaked under them. She felt him rock in between her and the toy, her walls clenching tightly around him as she was reminded of the power she still held over him. 

It wasn’t long before Lorenzo came, _hard_ , with a stuttered groan inside her, his arms flailing against his restraints as he jerked up into her. She kept rocking on him, hearing him whimper when he became overstimulated, and though she stopped, she didn't get off of him. 

Lorenzo rested his forehead against her shoulder, trying to catch his breath.

Clarice kissed the top of his head, rubbing the back of his neck gently. “All these weeks I’ve been so angry at you yet a part of me ached to be by your side – ached to forgive you even if it meant neglecting my own needs…What have you done to me, Lorenzo?” 

He kissed along her collarbone before lifting his head to meet her gaze. “The same as you’ve done to me I suppose – make life unbearable without each other.”

Clarice hummed, staring into his big blue eyes. She sometimes wished his eyes were a different color, that he was ugly, or undesirable in some way, or that he suddenly found himself a mute – unable to use that silver tongue of his that always seemed to earn back her favor. 

“I love you,” Lorenzo said. "Always."

“I love you too.” 

It wouldn’t be the last time Lorenzo drove her from his side, but it taught her that her absence alone was enough to inflict the pain he caused her right back and that she only had to bear it until he couldn’t. 

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know people used to make dildos out of bread? Because I didn’t, but then I was like “what the hell were dildos made of in 14th century Italy?” and anyways I used the wrong keywords like 3 times while googling it bc it was 4am and that’s what I learned before I found out they were in fact made of leather, wood or stone.
> 
> Anyways, please let me know what you thought of this!   
> 


End file.
